Random collection of 2010

I have nothing else to do.....so here is something that i read. Now, you read it with your heart. If you do, i am sure you will enjoy! Kash, especially for you! Missing you people alot :(
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Yeh lamha fikr-o-gham ka guzer kyun nahi jata
Akhir ko hai pemana bhar kyun nahi jata

Aata hai kucch yaqeen mager badguman bhi hoon
Maazi se jo mila hai asar kyun nahi jata

Usne bare khuloos se yeh kehdiya
Jeena hai nagawar tou marr kyun nahi jata

Nakaam hasraton ka tasalsul nahi toota
Jane mager yeh shouq-e-safer kyun nahi jata

Mana ke iss qader nahi per kucch tou hai AZIZ
Woh shakhs khayalon se utar kyun nahi jata
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Main khud zameen mera zarf aasmaan ka hai
K toot kar bhi mera hosla chataan ka hai
Bura na Maan mere hurf-o-lafz zehr sahi
Main kya karun k yehi zaaiqa zabaan ka hai
Meri sanjeedgi mashhoor hai zamaane mein
Meri khaamoshi bhi Pehlu mere bayaan ka hai
Har ek ghar pe musallat hai dil ki veeraani
Tamaam sheher pe saaya mere makaan ka hai
Bikhhar ke us se main bas es liye nahi bikhra
Wo keh gaya tha; yehi waqt terey imtehaan ka hai
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chaara nahin koi jalte rehne ke siwaaa
saanche mein fana ke dhalte rehne ke siwaa
Ai shama, teri hayaat-e-faani kya hai
jhonka khaane aur sambhalhe rehne ke siwaa ~Yaas yagana


Baaz auqaat kisi aur ke milne se Adam
apni hasti se mulaaqat bhi ho jaati hai


KaThin hai raah guzar Thodi der saath chalo
bahut kaDa hai safar Thodi der saath chalo
tamaam umar kahaaN koi saath deta ha
maiN jaanta huN magar Thodi der saath chalo


meri taufeeq bhi kam hai, meri auqhaat bhi kam
Kua zaroori hai ke woh aankh 'mujh' ko tole? -raj kumar kailash
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jis din huaa paThaan ke murge ka intaqaal

daavat ki maulavi ki tab aaya use Khayaal
murdaar murG ki hui mullaah ko jab Khabar
saaraa badan sulag uThaa, Gaalib huaa jalaal
kahane lage khilaaoge mam gosht?
tum ko nahin zaraa bhi shariyat ka kuchh Khayaal
murdaar Gosht to shariyat mein hai haraam
jab tak na zibaah kijiye, hota nahin halaal
fatawa jab apana maulavi saahab suna chuke
jhunjhalaa ke Khan ne kiyaa tab un se ye sawaal
kaisi hai aap ki ye shariyat bataaiye
bande ko kar diya hai Khuda se bhi baa-kamaal
allaah jis ko maar de, ho jaaye vo haraam
bande ke haath jo mare, ho jaaye vo halaal - girgit ahmedabadi
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Har ek dil mein kibre hasti dekha
Har ek sar mein shor-e-masti dekha
Paai na kahin Khuda parasti humne
Har cheez mein range khud parasti dekha

Khafa bhi woh tha, tark-e-taa'ulluq bhi kiya usne
magar ek umar se meri pashemaani nahi jaati
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Chalne ka hausla nahi, rukhna muhal kardiya
Ishq ke is safr nai tou, mujhe nidhal kardiya
Milte hui dillon ke beech, aur tha faisla koi
Us ne magar bichhadte waqt,Aur sawwal kar diye
Ai meri gul zameen tujhe cha thi ek kitaab ki
Ahle kitaab ne magar, kya tera haal kar diya

           ~~*~~~~~*~~~~
Pabagil sab hai, rihayi ki kare tadbeer kaun
Dast basta sehr mein, khole meri zanjeer kaun

Meri sarr hazir hai, lekin mera munsif dekh le
kar raha hai meri farde jurm ko tahreer kaun
meri chadar tou chini thi, shaam ki tanhayi ne
be ridaayi ko meri phir de gaya tasheer kaun
Need jab khabbon se pyaari hoo, tou aise ahd mein
Khaab dekhe kaun, khaboon ko tabeer kaun

Reth abhi na pichle makaanoon ke na wapas aayi thi
phir labe saahil pe ghironde kar gaya tameer kaun
sarre rishte hijratton mein saath dete hai tou phir
Sehr se jaate hue hota hai daman gir kaun
Dushmanoon ke saath mere dost bhi azzad hai
Dekh na khechta hai mujh pe pehla teer kaun

Pabagil sab hai, rihayi ki kare tadbeer kaun

Dast basta sehr mein, khole meri zanjeer kaun - Parveen shakir!

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Inertia of opinion - Part I

Oh almighty, what is this world that is hastening me towards

I know not what, viewing me with contempt?

Islamic terrorism is the word abuzz

as if there are no terrorist in their part of dust?

Nay! they say, its not as same

You people kill in the name of 'Lord'

You are followers of moon God, and follow

the book; that blinds you to blow innocents

Don't even compare 'us' to you.

You shameless creatures you got no right to do;

what you do! I can't stop laughing on your heresy, that

age old 'Shairah'; that gives you right to beat;

your wife? How pathetic is your story!

Redness in eyes, open wounds hungry to be healed

Bandwagon of hatred, repugnance on faces

Am I really the reason for that girl's father lost leg

Or the house out there that got no food to suffice

How is that I am responsible for

every single secular worlds' mishap?

From that family next door thrown out of their house, who

could not pay the EMI, thanks to lost job for that freedom fight!

Though the rich seems richer and goods, are

spinning out; bought and sold; the markets are

always loud; still people have less money to buy,

and distress on things they could not get; ignoring

whats in their hand is the beauty of happiness !

How can you stay so silent, please reply 'Thee Almighty'

people always kneeling in front of you, looking for that

glimpse of mercy; their is a limit to obediently patient

We can't take those accusations falling on our ears, please

let us free from those allegations, because

'terrorist' is not me.

Oh almighty, what is this world that is hastening me towards

I know not what, viewing me with contempt?

Lost in transition?

Well, this as many of others posts; is unsettling energy flux of my neuronal activity concocted by imagination, contemplation and rationalization that my little mind can fathom. This post is inspired by a little fight with my little sister - who uses the F word to express anger. Well, who am i to judge, when i myself so oftentimes than not use the S word conveniently. Yeah, I am working on it and hopefully get over it, InshAllah!

Anger expression I think has more deeper reasons that even I can completely pen down (type down?) myself. It has something to do with lack of understanding of this complex life, lesser patience and broken spirit of will power. It has something to do with unsatisfied contribution to/by the person/society, a greater deficit margin on self standard scale of people in general (including self).

Hold it! I ain't giving you gyan on etymology of 'anger' here. Neither am i giving anger management classes. People, who know me well will start laughing even if I step into that role for a sec.

So lets get started with the subject on hand and this is how it goes:

As humans we have unique power to translate each others life without physically even moving an inch. I am sure, all of us have been moved by a small gesture (positive or negative) on the road, in bus, etc. Though, we have never met before and might not cross our ways again, we are affected by each other somehow. Sometimes, it helps break and sometimes strengthens -our prejudices. Its just in us.

Of the many things that contribute to such unrecognized and unrealized power is "Word".

Ever tried imagining the words as sounds without any meaning to it. Imagine, and you will find yourself either thinking or laughing. Well, as history records; words came into being because of certain value or quality it denotes. I totally recommend reading, 'A is for Ox' for a basic understanding and if you want dig deep" Grammatical man -information, entropy, language and life' - Good luck with 'scientific' philosophy of language.

Well, like humans (for those who believe in souls), each and every word has two important aspect to them:

a. Physical aspect

b. Spiritual aspect

The physical aspect stands for its sound, its language or scripting. I call is physical because you can sense it with the help of those 5 senses, hence adheres to the scientific decorum of evidence. Even though a figment of human imagination, yet, they exist. The physical aspect of word is to brain as output device is to computer. Its the sa re ga ma of language. Yes, it includes all those aspects of language that most of us had tough time learning especially the grammar. Since all of us are aware of this aspect, let me not dwell into it a lot.

Now, comes the most important part - the spiritual side. As, I mentioned before, each word has an attributed/quality value to it. Imagine a word 'beauty' - it has certain aesthetic quality to it. Same stands for many words like courage, faith, believe, etc. Have you ever come across those films/cartoons wherein the 'subject' opens the age old relic books and you see some power or rather light emitted from it?Now, if you ask me - that is not actually the light light but the enlightening light. In the sense that it awakens in a person a sense of attributes and dawns upon wisdom. May be, you can better understand this if you have read something and din't understand but upon reading again and again -new concepts open up on you like never before. it is very important for a word to hold its value - its like 'hiss' in urdu from which the word 'ahsaas' is derived. A man is equal to dead if he/she doesn't have any ahsaas (physically or morally).

If you read classics, you can actually feel the language. Today, the language has turned into a sham rather than that spirit. People don't think and speak. They just speak and more so it has become a cool thing to use derogatory language. And when you correct, they just come up with a simple convenient answer, " Oh common! Gimme a break. We don't mean F when we say it. Its just like an expression. You don't have to be so serious about it". It is the lack of seriousness sometimes that is disturbing.

Really! Think about it. Your friend calling you again and again with those words out of love. How disgusting is that love that cant give you respect to your being. There are many words on my list that have lost their spirit during transition into modernized world full of pressures - liar, B*, A*, etc (nauzbillah!).

Each word has its disposition and is meant for certain purpose. Hence, we have positive and negative words, degrees for same meaning words. Words moved people, made revolutions happen, bring 'Haqh' (Ah! such a beautiful word) to people. Please, respect language and people at the same time. Be graceful as much as you can. We don't need to be abusive all the time. There is time for everything but it takes much courage not to fall down from grace of language.

Let me end with a little quote for the spirit of word, ' Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons. ~Aldous Huxley'

You haven't been liberated if you haven't slandered?

“Thanks to easy access of unauthenticated material because of internet, the media brawl, the present IQ of human race is increasing constantly. If you happen to visit any video on You tube or any article as a matter of fact that has a comment section (Now a days almost all papers, journals, sites, etc have it), you will find scores of people commenting on various issues." Person 1

"So? Big deal! Aren't you supposed to have an opinion? Well, of course, you ought to. You have forgotten; aren't we living in times of Freedom of Expression. Duh!" ; Person 2.

"Oh! sorry. I belong to the generations of uncivilized uncouth people from eastern part of poverty striken world - who are wandering in the darkness of religion as yet. Silly irrational people who are guided by shariah laws laid by a man known as "Prophet Mohammad (SAW)". On the streets of India, haven't you seen those people who have big turbans on their head, and specially those burqah women who aren't as yet have the mercy of western ideologists to liberate themselves from the clutches of men who just ill-treat and subjugate them." person 1

" Yeah yeah. Now, I remember. I have seen a couple of videos and read news of similar kind in newspapers." Dont worry, check out the recent 'Draw Prophet day' movement. We are here to help you get out of the clutches of ignorance and enlighten you and also the anti burqah and naqab movements in the Europe. If you ever want any help, don't hesitate." Person 2.

Sad and happy to my position, I cant even slander you for slandering me. I am on a serious breech of code of conduct of that aged rusted shariah law. We believe that Allah has given us the ability to speak/express. That's like equivalent to your body. Its given by Allah, nobody has the claim to it except you. Yet, at the same time He has given us the little thing in our skull called "Brain" which is to put to action before one spurts out what is on ones liberated mind." person 1

"Slandering or bearing with you? Which ones apt? Western civilization is the pioneer of liberation. Either its writing or saying, they really are advanced set of people who have made really good contribution to the society as a whole while you people haven't heard of something called 'freedom of expression'. Read your history right kiddo." Person 2

"Freedom of expression, more narrowly: freedom of speech is under constant threat to itself in present times. But before dwelling into it, today I take the prestigious honor to welcome you all to the era of 'Enlightenment and New world', the founders of liberation. To be precise: the western world. The world that sees everything through the myopic view of themselves. Sometimes, it’s hard to even gauge that east existed just from the time west came into existence. Not so famous but factually true, is that the 'Dark periods' of western world were the peak golden periods of eastern civilization. The trade, sciences, literature, poetry and philosophy flourished. There was a good distance of 1000 years in progress. Eastern world had and has always been a good example of diversity of culture with few exceptions. The western world is yet to come to terms of accepting various cultures and different viewpoints.

We are in globalization era still refuting the phase of accepting each other: accepting that there is no single way of life and ideology. There is no single correct way of thinking and approach to life ways. It’s a multiple choice and I guess for the same reason freedom of speech was scheduled. The west by large hasn't really opened up to others accept to mock at the 'different'.

Well, 'everybody draw Mohammad day' is just one example of big bully threatening the small bully i.e. Its my way or no way. It’s not new for iconographic or image representation of God. Many religions are based on it. And, its also not new that someone has tried figurative approach towards Mohammad. But, before long it was abandoned with common consensus from various school of thoughts because it might lead to idolatry. The difference between their approach and today's attitude is the lack of aptitude to appreciate someone else’s core values of respect and veneration but the sheer presence of slandering and mockery.

Surprising enough, west (specifically Europe) in all its obtuseness of insight is so quick in showing the intolerance of other cultures (here specifically Islam) when without any second thought banning burqa, various religious bearing of a person and minarets (really minarets? What’s it’s got to do with Islam..it’s architecture.); making liberating decisions on behalf of people who are protesting outside not to pass the law.

Let me take a moment here to justify the need of 'Freedom of speech'. According to Wikipedia 'Freedom of speech' is the freedom to speak without censorship and/or limitation. The synonymous term freedom of expression is sometimes used to indicate not only freedom of verbal speech but any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used. In practice, the right to freedom of speech is not absolute in any country and the right is commonly subject to limitations, such as on "hate speech".

Hate is not a part of freedom of expression. It is not to get on someone’s nerve but to exchange ideas. A very learn friend of mine argued that just because someone is drawing doesn't mean you go and kill the person or give Fatwa to ostracize (Salman Rushdie). Bill Maher told that I can gaff at Pope or Jesus (PBUH) and no one would dare to come up with such a solution. Sorry, if you haven't kept the reverence for your religious leaders or God(s), or Prophets (PBUT). I can’t help it. If it doesn't concern you, it doesn't matter to you in the first place. You got to take a good look at yourself then and you have incurred it yourself upon yourself. And also imagine a Muslim person goofing around with his religion. Wo, I can feel some heat there. Agreed that no one should be killed, but Salman Rushdie was barred for the common good of the country to avoid hooliganism platform for furthering the communal disharmony.

Why don't people stand on Harlem crossroad, use the N word? Everyone has freedom of speech after all.

How would you react if a person speaks ill about your parents or sisters. Why should you react? Its that person's freedom of speech.

During the presidency election, when people were whispering about Barack Obama's Muslim background, Colin Powell took a stand and said "what it was - not free speech, but unacceptable, un-American bigotry" (source: Washington post)

Yes, that is what this is also. A plain bigotry. A purposeless blasphemous trifle with no intellectual agenda except to annoy muslim people. “Person 1.

Sifar's zindagi

Ya rab kya hai tasalsul -e- zindagi; ajab khel dikhata hai

Gat hai dhobi ke kutte si; na ghar ka na ghat ka ye haal banata hai
Gardish mein musalsil zameer mera; kabhi wadi-e-duniya wa kabhi jannat ki aur chala jaata hai
Wo ek pal tere darbaar mein: samaet loon; phir kasmakash-e-waqt : kai wardatton se darata hai

Ya rab kya hai tasalsul -e- zindagi; ajab khel dikhata hai

Beshakh nahi mera qhalam pabande hurf-e-kibriyai; warna kya baat hai jo jabeen khaak hone se katrata hai
Khud sitaishi aur khud shanasi ka farq barkharaar rakhna mujh mein; Na ho wo qhata jo ruh ko mitti banata hai
Parwaaz dein mere adab o niyaate-ammal ko; yahi wo farq hai jo bande ko khuda se milata hai

Ya rab kya hai tasalsul -e- zindagi; ajab khel dikhata hai

Abstract thoughts -II

Me and my friend (oops....this reminds of my English teacher, Mala Shenoy . She used to say: whenever you are using the third person/second person along with first... the first: that is I i.e. you are a donkey and the donkey always comes last". At that time I dint know socialism so well to realize it existed in language rules as well...hahaha ;)) .

Coming back to the topic: my friend and I were discussing my research topic that transformed into a political and then a philosophical issue. It all started with intangible nature of measuring depression. And we hopped on to the intangible nature of every word I am using to write this blog. I am not sure where is this going to lead but I am going to start with what’s on my mind. Everything on the face of the earth is relative to "I". I: as in human. Indeed, the most interesting objects of speculation on my list. For a fraction of moment, imagine the world without humans.
It would still be world of course: much better than it is right now. What am I saying? Indeed, isn't it we who have organized, named earth 'The Earth'. Created new things out of nothing and understood that underlying this random probabilistic piece of huge junk of collated electrons and protons that came from nowhere suspended in space that we call world: is governed by an order? Don't we hear physicists and mathematicians cramping their heads day and night right now for encoding the one universal governing law of nature? We have unraveled the key to most of the things that are under our vision of rationality. From the very origin of universe to the humans. You name it, we have a reason. From space time axioms, black holes, age of earth to heart beat - we have figured it out to the nth degree of accuracy.

Today we live in a world where everything is defined by mechanics: even human relationships. Everything that thrills/evokes our emotions is about: precision (standards), accuracy (repeatability) and speed. It’s the order that dictates every state of mind/action. We have reduced ourselves to the same level: emotions are chemical transmitters, getting along with other human is synchronized with positive or negative vibrations, we have break-up in relationships and we get readjusted or screwed after tuning a little to newer environments. It’s all about mechanics.

What are humans: a bundle of mass (form of energy) that is held in the space time fixation with the help of gravitational force on the surface of a huge crust of heavy body that provides our mainframe source for huge components of raw material to keep its evolutionarily mechanical parts moving? And to balance the energy, this evolutionary gimmick is provided with inbuilt mother board made up of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen leading to attractive forces that transmits itself into another new form.

From road tracks to plants and animals phyla, traffic rules to business transaction, from crimes rates to philanthropy, everything has been organized. We are so obsessed with order that humans were/are subjugated to some arbitrary checkpoints of societal standards of language, literacy, IQ, size weight, color, money, etc.

The whole unorganized flawed ideas of nomadic way of contemplation of ‘whys’ was replaced by modernistic holy scholars like Francis bacon, Newton with more organized scientific‘how’s’? And post modern scholastics later transformed these “Whys and How’s” as a tool subservience of nature by us.

Where else are we heading to from here? Nobody today can just randomly speak their mind or rather emotions. It doesn’t hold any value. And as can be expected, though surrounded by scores of people around us, there are times we just feel a void in our hearts. People are left with no choice but to be untrue to themselves and also to others. Sadly enough, we don't have still one thing straightened up: US.

Yes, the present world is mute concoction of all these trails of history. Yet, we are thousands of miles away from the ‘so called order’. Apologetic for my childlike eccentricities, at this moment of gravity, I got reminded of a movie called 'Pi' whose tag line stated "There will be no order, only chaos".

The objectivity | The subjectivity.

The writing is triggered by many incidences in your life . Though my life has been going on its monotone pace, sometimes frustrations are deep down building up and a little catalytic event and here is the outcome.

What would be more offensive - Taking an issue/subject as a subject or as an object? Or both or none? Being objective, people are thinking in a way they think think. Its like looking at a stone and trying to understand. Objectivity helps in understanding things or phenomena or whatever on the face of earth beyond ones emotional, ethical, virtuous(according to many - irrational!!???) part of brain. There are so many people I have met who say, " Well, you behaving the way you behave because you mind is trained in this way in your childhood; "Oh yeah! Right. Thanks for the enlightenment. I was groping in dark, and your viewpoint has suddenly bridged the gap with its twilight".

Sarcasm apart: What is the idealistic way of looking at society or as a matter of fact "I". The existence of every little object in your room has its own importance and its timely shift from object to subject is based on ones situational need; applies very much to every human on the face of earth. Each of us are object and subject to different people based on ones perception, acquaintances, emotional bondage and of course ones virtues. I am not here to argue - which is better. Because, I ain't certain myself and for sure can never be.

But a little couplet from an urdu poet would add a dash to food for thought:

Hun said kabhi aur kabhi aur sayyad hun mein
Kuch bhi nahin baazeecha-e-izdaad hun main
Mukhtar magar apni haddon mein mehdood
Haan wusat-e-zanjeer tak azaad hun mein

(said=predator, sayyad=prey, baazeecha-e-izdaad = bundle of arguments/contradictions)


To put it in a non-literal analogy the rubai is questioning the very existence of objectivity. The very concept of 'objectivity' is based on the fact that it is devoid of subjectivity - that it itself is relative. Once you take this as your base, the whole concept is tinted with perception of the experienced.


Well, my friend argued " You are hell bend on your ideologies - resistant to change. For a change look at things from objective point of view. May be it would give you a better understanding of things around."

It all started with 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy discussion. I neither intend to ask nor tell, because its is against the adab of Islam (or rather a crime) to expose someone to someone else. I try my best to confirm to this principle. And, I really get out of situations that I think are out of my control. I don't want to be a part of the game where I am just a silent watcher. To tell the truth, I have been just that most the time and I hate my self for it. I have always been labeled as easily offended, too serious, just cant takes jokes, you think too much, etc from my school days. Because everything affects me - if it is related to me or not. Its nothing wrong on others. I am not offended by it but I feel guilty being a part of it. That's the way I am. People are different and thank God they are.

But is it really that if I adapt the objective point of view that the whole issue becomes indifferent - Indeed that is all we do all the time. Dont we?

The recent reports of series of pre-school shootings in china by mad people with amunition is ridiculous. The objective reason according to the news reporters is that there is too much unemployment around and hence people are suffering from depression and paranoia. Really? There are many similar diseases on my list: gambling, being shy is social phobia, PMS. I am sure times are near where every misbehavior would be approved by some psychological disorder to make things look ok. Excuse me for my blatant characteristics but the present chaos in our society is because of our objective approach.

The western world is still trying to recuperate the repercussions of teenage pregnancies. And the recent supreme court green flag to pre marital sex is an added blow. Oh my God! How naive am I. Putting my foot in the so called progress of Indian society. But answer me how are we going to defend teen age pregnancies? Oh sorry, pre marital sex is only for above 18 people and don't we have anti contraceptive measures. Ah! I see. As, I said: I am naive.

In a country where more than 40 percent of population living below poverty lines, there a huge 50 % margin between the supply and demand of water on negative side, people are hungry, more than 30 % population is unemployed, where every year 27 million babies are born, where women are raped, eve teasing is rampant?

Are we really solving the problems or aggravating it? Oh common, what has it got to do with me? I am just being an imprudent brute orthodox. He also argued that it happens all the time, legalizing is just helping it to remove the social stigma. How can I even argue to such a statement. I just kept my mouth shut.

Homicide is a criminal offense- still we find people killing each other. So shall we legalize killing. Its ok to kill if you are above 18. You are mature to decide for yourself.

Yet, the cool aired attitude towards adaptation of thinking that things should be looked up as new concepts in ones life sometimes irks me. Anything out of box is cool. People should read psychology a little bit to understand why the newer concepts are presented with that air.

Not surprising enough, there are two types of people: people who spell out their opinion and people who don't. But keeping quiet usually is taken as a trademark of agreement/ignorance. Well, I have been a culprit of this misconception sometimes. There could be two reasons to it : either the person really agrees on the opinion or the very base of perception on which the argument is based is not in alignment with the him/her and he or she has decided not to go to the arduous task of explaining because their objectivity has taken over their subjectivity. Did it make sense? Anyways, to cut the long story short: I mean to say that everything on the face of earth and earth itself is relative to something else and hence the whole concept of objectivity is a little hyped and let me end it by a famous scientist quote:

"A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." ~ Albert Einstein

Identity crisis!!!

I happened to read the NASDAQ bell session by our beloved youth icon - Mr. shahrukh khan and stumbled on pages of feud between Shiv sainik and him. Yes, the rift as usual that shahrukh khan is a muslim, and a very "generous" one who wants to make money by letting people of pakistan to play on his team. Oh My God, what did I do? Did I say generous? I apologize before shiv sainiks come to grab my neck because I dont even have so much money like srk to say what ever comes to my mouth and walk off. [Btw, hes one smart businessman who just wants to make mulah. Nothing more, nothing less.]

And there goes public, doing dharna in front of his house and burning government property ( neither owned by shiv sainik nor owned by srk, but earned by investing the taxes payed off on hard earned money of themselves)
Here are few updates of srk twitters:

1. Going for the launch of Hyundai environmental friendly car - via Jet plain, So ironic.

2. I an unsocial, hence so many issues.


Reading the first statement, any fan reaction would be

Oh! he thinks so much and sympathy creeps in.

[Man, if you are so perturbed by the irony, why don't you cancel the contract. Did someone put a gun on your forehead to do it.]

Regarding the second; unsocial, UNSOCIAL??????Did I read it right? If you think yourself unsocial,I, with due respect ask you to refer a dictionary and check for the meaning. May be your brain got a little older with age, you need brush up. If you dint speak, the situation is like this. Now, I cant imagine you being socially active. Baraye meharbahi, next time truly and totally try unsociable attitude. I think, it will benefit all the people. Finally, you will get awarded a prize for humanitarian approach i.e benefits you too.

Coming to shiv sainik part of the story, where were you when Imran hashmi was not given a flat at some place he wanted to buy just because he is a muslim. And for your records, Imran hashmi is as Maharashtraian as you are because he was born and brought up in Bombay. I can collect 100 practicing Muslims who wouldn't even regard him as close to being a Muslim as you think and would be ready to give a fatwa against him in no time. You are a not a muslim because you are just born to muslim parents. Islam is not a heuristics passed on to you - It is a set of guidelines and rules that you got to follow to be a true Muslim which everyone tries at their own extent to abide.

Coming to cricket, someone truly said; " Sports is war without weapons". I never was into sports. Its not on my interest list and cricket's the least(est). But it is so widely spread in our culture that no one is spared from its brunt. Surprisingly, I discovered through NDTV that Javed Miadad was invited by Bal Thackeray to his house and felicitated. Ajay Jadega and Manoj Prabhakar who are directly or indirectly involved with BJP (Bhartiya Janta Party); were once the match fixing embellished players. And shiv sena has long on and off tied with BJP. And recently, the congress sprung into action. Why should we be left behind. Took up Azharuddin and fool the muslims, and to be frank they are.


But, one a serious note: "Can you be an Indian Muslim or is it that you are either Indian or a Muslim.

Common guys, gimme a break, till what time people should be proving themselves. When I first got my voting rights, my uncle brainwashed me for weeks to vote for Majleesi Ittehadul Momineen (MIM). By the time you finish reading party name, I am sure you you can infer from the big dramatic unpronounceable name that it is urdu and the party is run by political active Muslims. I voted for TDP (Telugu Desam Party and it lost). But if the above situation keeps continuing, I guess next time I will have to concede with my right mind to vote for otherwise.

For God sake, India is one of the few democratic, secular countries left on the face of the earth where I can walk with black color abayah anytime without getting any damn heed or attention. Loving your country is part of Sunnah ( Hadees of Prophet Muhammad PBUH. When, I came to US, one of the girls asked me if I am from pakistan and I got so irritated that I counter questioned her by asking that if a person wears scarf then does she only belong to Pakistan. Poor girl, innocently replied that people living in Pakistan are also humans. Btw, that girl was a non Muslim from India.

When a movie was released and it had a very famous hindi dialogue " Dhoodh mango kheer denge, Kashmir mango cheer denge"; everyone applauded with both hands. But, isnt it ironic that Muslim students from Kashmir are asked for CID non terrorist clearance to study in some universities of India itself. Are we really conceding to what we say? People on the borders are killing each other for that part of the country, yet we have no space for those people. What do you expect them to do?

When I was coming from India, my uncle said : "Jao bete, Mulk ka naam roshan karo".

In my fathers office there is one Brahmin Telugu accountant person who keeps his utensils separately, yet my father did not mind. He never used to eat anything we offer, but we used to enjoy and relish anything he brought for us. He used to send someone everyday to pick him from bus stop to our office because he was a little paralyzed by shock.

I remember pretty well, my mom gave two tight slap and not my dinner for playing with someones religion, when I knowingly gave one of my friend mutton curry without mutton because there was nothing else to offer .

They did whatever they did, because they knew and respected the importance of faith in one's life. I am here in US with so many people and not one of them is a Muslim, yet we have one basic thing in common - we are INDIANS. I did participate in what ever way I felt comfortable for Ganesh Pooja, Diwali,etc and also was offered to break my ramazaan fast in mid day to eat prasad but took it in stride, just as an enthusiasm of my friends. I don't expect them to do prayers or read Quran yet I enjoy their company without any second thoughts and I really hope they too enjoy mine.

I think I have given enough proof of my patriotism. Can I be an Indian Muslim, please?

With malice towards me and all!

If you are one of those people who are fascinated by the UFOs or Extraterrestrial Intelligence, and want to gauge people's reaction surrounding it - I simply suggest you wear a headscarf or abayah; and travel ALONE.

Mighty Lo! You have the perfect setting.You can see it all on their faces. Some might not pay any heed (Thanking Lord! There are few left), some might panic, others hold their children tight if you are around, some highly annoyed by your intrusions and glace with coldest look scanning you from top to bottom (Bloody terrorists looks), and some are just fascinated. Whatever the reaction, you would enjoy if you are an attention seeker(Sadly, I hate to be one and it irks me to the core).

Well, of-course performers discretion intended. This act comes with lot of liability and skepticism.

Growing up in a secular country like India, I never realized the repercussions of being a Muslim until I first took my flight for higher education to USA. I was a Muslim in my home country as well. As a child,

I did pray (the shortest form of prayer) as many of 5 times as I could,

went to mosque to finish reading obligatory Quran (Though I hardly understand few word from it and bunked classes that I finished almost years than I should have), and

fasted in Ramadan ( that was more for the breaking fast feasts and food and new clothes and eidi at the end of it).

Whatever I did was with childhood ignorance and parents obediency but I always felt secure and at peace praying. I tried my best to be as reverent as possible.

As days passed, my brain took control over my heart, I started questioning and I am still in the process. I wanted to know everything I was doing, but never got time because of all the entrance exams you got to write for getting into higher education in India. Then came the burden of molecular formulas,integers and probability; subjects that even sound obnoxious like pharmacognosy and pharmaceutical biotechnology. Days got busier with records submissions, lab works, friends get together, roaming on bikes, pre-exam night mugging sessions that my curious quest took a back seat. Though the prayer session continued, it always got multiplied and went on to original longer length during exam sessions.

With time, we were all out of college. As my friends got jobs or admissions, I got a little frantic and I resolved that I would wear scarf if I get an I 20. For the first time, the Almighty's answered me instantaneously. How stupid was I? I should have straight away asked a visa. I got my I20 but not a visa and I was wearing a scarf. Though, I always felt a little guilty with my friends who wear scarf or abayah, I never had so much of guts to down it on myself. As strange the reason sounds, the stranger was my journey towards inner self with that piece of cloth on my head.I felt at peace. Today, I do it because I want to do it. Yes, I really feel more connected to my RAB by doing it. Its just one more act of reverence towards my Lord, for making me who I am.

I also sincerely thank to media; my very own friend who asked me questions like "Is it in Quran to kill non Muslims"; to those cops whose eyes follows me in subways and on roads, to every skeptic and questioning eye. You have made me closer to my RAB. I feel happy that I am doing what I want to do rather than what society accepts. Yet, at the same time the looks just irk me. I hate it when people blabber on my face,those cold looks make me nervous. I hate those longer session of my luggage check with anti radioactive detectors and recent laptop scrutiny.

I hate those elements who are responsible for using ISLAM as a religious gimmick; who change an unquestioned obediency of ignorant and innocent people into tool of destruction.

But most of all I hate myself, for not doing anything about it in any little way I could.

The few important thing that my parents taught me is "to speak the truth; for no one but Allah is watching my actions all the time ( this is the hardest rule to follow at times) and compassion ( for elders, youngsters, disabled or less privileged) and to always be hopeful. I never realized its base is very much Islamic.

To be able to show that I am a practising muslim with my head on my head and can very much be as intellectual as society defines intellectuality, to be able to educate those ignorant people about "Hope" and educate them about the religion my parents taught me is my hope for future. INSHALLAH I will one day ( may be at the smallest scale but I will!)

A discourse!

It is a Sunday night and my "to do list" is filled with things I got to finish before I meet my professor at university tomorrow. Yet, a look down the street filled with yellow light, grayish sky and falling leaves from the trees brought back the memories of our first meeting. Our introduction is vivid on my mind and I hope time doesn't erase it.

I wasn't sure what I was into? Anxious yet trying to be calm, shy yet confident, walking preoccupied into the realms of unknown with a pang of insecurity and excitement trying hard to hide my loneliness, I bumped into you straight out of airport. Though, it was rush hour with cars honking, people busily walking taking no heed of surrounding - you drown out the crowd.

In the best of your mood as ever; you silently gave a broad welcoming smile.

There are times when silence speaks more eloquently than words and I guess that was one such time. And, from that moment our companionship just grew better and I hope it remains this way ever. Each day and each interaction with you has broadened my horizons, my perceptions, bettered my opinions and judgments, and outlook of life.

Sometimes, you have seen my jubilation and other times my frustrations . Yet, you took me into your stride with all my flaws and enriched me with your persona. I am awed and amazed by your attitude towards life, you have some thing for everyone and I am deeply touched that I am one among that everyone.

On few evenings I have seen you intoxicated with party fervor, equally enjoying the company of youths, old or children. On the other evenings, I see you finding pleasure in the monotony of routine work. Whether a snow fall, a windy chilly night or a bright sunny day, you have faced it all with no loss of enthusiasm. The sparkling contrasts yet a undefined blend of all in you shall always be a part of my memoir. There are many things that I cannot put into words. I know. You know . And I guess we will let it be.

Though,I would love to claim that I have known much of you, I would be wronged if I don't confess that I have just experienced a small fraction of your big self. I am still as confused as then , yet the insecurity has been replaced by a comfort level. I always thought I wasn't gullible until I met you.

I thank my destiny that I met "New york city". The city that never sleeps!

At a job that's"for people"

These are the series of observation or events in no particular order that happen to strike my mind at my newest job:

• I really thought I cant manage a customer service job that involves those fake smiles, false apologies, but I guess I was wrong. I am doing pretty good ( Good to know i m all human!). And most of the times its not fake. I started liking it somehow.
  
• On a different note, the tag line " Thank you. You have a good day " after every transaction crept subconsciously into my mind. The other day I went to Dunkin donuts at 11 pm in the night. The guy handed me my cup of coffee and instantly my words were these lines. And the guy looked at the watch. Gosh! its good to laugh at yourselves sometimes.
  
• Usually the customers don't know care what they are getting; the key to sell food : it should be good looking and Sate Boldly that " its NON FAT".
• Most people really are talkative ( I mistakenly asked a regular student customer "whats his major?" Voila! I get the detailed biography, hes into hospitality management, did his bachelors in cuisine art, his father's a chef for 40 yrs, he wants to open a hotel and the food we sell here is nothing compared to the so called actual American cuisine)
• Its really really a different talk in "women's world" I so agree with men on this. The ladies I work with have a very different subjects to discuss.
  
• Work place is a more prominent platform to see cultural differences:
  

L:Do you have boyfriend? Did you date someone interesting?
I: No. I dont have time for one and I am happy as I am( in my mind : No, its not like that at our end of home )

L: Are you engaged? Eyes fixed on my fingers
I: A straight No and fullstop. While my mind went wild : (Its funny how you perceive the whole world according to your ideologies I like wearing rings irrespective of my marital status and we dont exchange rings in our marriages) .

L: Ah, So u dont get married and just stay like that. Ahaan haan(She meant without any strings)
I : (Man! Thats height of ignorance and assault) trying to prepare myself in the most polite way to answer. Hmm...the customer comes and saves my soul.

• If you are at a workplace, Learn to ACT BUSY. (Life's difficult if you are caught doing nothing)
• You mess it up, You clean it up ( whether you are helper or manager - that so different from the country I come from)
• The terrorism hasn't really moved from the first few pages of new york times for almost a decade now. (thanks to student center free newspaper services that i visit quite often now)
• I really don't miss high school, so I completely forgot about the uniform monotony until I started this job.
• Some people have a weird sense of dressing.
  
• Next time you need an off from your job, make sure you approach your manager with all the proper preparation. Otherwise, you might end up with an answer like this " Look honey! whatever you have on your mind just spit it out. I dont have time to look at your face." I was just startled and blank at this. Never ever heard it from anyone before.
  
• Though I like Oscar Wilde saying " Its absurd to divide people into good or bad; they are either tedious or charming" . People are generally good AS LONG AS you don't cross their path.
• You are not allowed to eat and also to "Drink Water" at my work station. Thats one of wierdest and stupid rule i came across here.
  
• Your co workers matter alot. One of the ladies in my morning shift is pretty fussy and grumpy. I keep looking at the watch for her to leave.
  
• Students take no heed when they drop four paper towels or spoons and forks on the floor when all taking one and dont even realise. I wish I could put a bold notice: "Bend your back dumbheads. Pick that spoon from the floor when you drop it."
• Either cooks really LOVEEE making food to be a chef or they dont have any other chioce. Thankfully i dont belong to either of two. Man! Its so damn hot, sweaty near that kitchen to stand all day long, everyday for whole lifetime.
  

well. lot more to write but i m outta patience

for now , Bon nuit!

Bring it on, anything sells !

Recently, I was introduced by one of my roommates' an Indian TV series called 'Sach ka Samna" - its another reality show on the block wherein participants are asked a set of questions [???]:

• Have you ever visited a prostitute?
• Have you had a child out of wedlock?
• Would you sleep with another man if your husband wouldn’t know?
• Have you ever peed in a swimming pool?

(deadly private and embarrassing - all of us have something to hide kinds), and are connected to a lie detector and as the title goes they are confronting the truth by accepting or denying the questions. And the result is the usual " sansani " (though translated as breaking, it has its essence in Hindi ). TRPs that are far from the average. If the saying that TV and movies are an index of society stands good, are these recent reality shows that are vulgar, disgusting and cheap the index of our societal preferences? Man, Almighty save the moral fabric of our society (Though few people might have problem with this statement - spare this for arguments). Whats happening to the cultural taste of Indians? (Though i usually TRY to stick to the principle of: To each his own -the repercussions of this ethical depletion in masses is i think, not acceptable)

There was a time in the Indian television where one could sit with family and watch sitcoms (malgudi days, Dekh bhai dekh, zamana badal gaya hai) together - they were the true representative of the average family net, light uncheesy humor in the air that lighted the peoples stress without offending any ones soul.

But then in the late 1990s the boom of multichannel world syndrome hit the Indian television and down the drain went with it the standards and ethics of it. The television took a 180 degree turn. No more middle class families, normal looking faces or day today activities - the time for some dramas of high profile lifestyles, multimillionaires (hence could afford plastic surgery every 6 months) people who dont cook in their houses and sleep with tons of makeup on their faces, where in the children of family can roam around in dainty clothes yet the mothers of the family has to abide by the cultural bindings of sari, pativratha patnis doing prayers for her husbands, yet a man can sleep with many women and bring home children ( lost and found unit). I just cant help but mention the complete white and black shades of characters - The evil always the wicked, more sophisticated( in clothes, wacky makeup and very characteristic bindis and istyle) and the Godly good (humble, persevering, patient to the wicked yet fighting for the truth and getting killed every 6 months). Though many directors and producers rushed towards these type of sagas that emptied the streets of India from 9 - 11 everyday in the night, the one person that tops the list is Ekta Kapoor. I so thank Lord that shes not a political figure. Many of the viewers said that she had done alot on the women issues prachar ( awareness). Think again, Did She ? She was the one who highlighted that a dark woman cant survive, students who come from small towns or chawls to study always land up marrying the rich guy throwing away their careers and dreams, all woman are born idiots to always give Agni parikshas irrespective. These sickening ideologies have crept to such an extend in the emotionally foolish Indians that people give ads in matrimony that they want a bahu like parvati and the prices of the same bangles that vendors were selling for past 200 yrs cost Rs. 100-300 more being tagged as Parvathis or Tuslis bangles. Though I really dont have a liking Ekta kapoor for all above, I duly respect her for Entrepreneur skills. Shes proven cent percent one of my Father's much quoted saying

" Jab Tak Bewakhoof Zinda Hai, Akhal mand bhooka nahi mar sakta " ( I dunno how to translate this - any idiom of similar context that reader noe plz add on!)

ad for drug abuse in teens

I with an " I "

As I stare down the window sill
Cuts my face a windy chill

I engross, entice in emptiness of road
Find it hard to take up the load.

Looking around.........

I saw leaves dropping down
And heard a subdued inner sound

Wish I could breakfree
Like that leaves from the tree;
leaving myself to the destiny of wind
Rustling all way carefree of end
Taking path at my own pace
If I dont feel gud, giving up the race



Suddenly, a man tramped under his feet
the tiny leaves without any heed
I heard a silent moan from beneath
leaves now dead, lie like a wreath


Do I really Wish I was leaf?

No, came an answer with a relief
Tanking Lord for reinstillin my belief


I am a Human wit an " I "

This is dedicated to the utmost important person of my lifetime

My best(est) friend, My moral inspiration, the man who stood besides me alwayz whether I was happy or sad......whether I was angry with him and stubborn not heeding, whether I was bubbling with joy or crying in pain......irrespective of me being right or wrong....He alwayz had his hands spread for me, to hold and embrace me, who alwayz planted a little kiss on my forehead to ease my tensions or worries....

the only man who said I look beautiful irrespective of I being jus awake from bed or in my best dressing sense ....the person whom i addressed as BABA..."my father"

He understood me without words, jus a little change in my walking style n he wud infer whats wrong.....u dont hav to wrry abt school picnics, frnds get together, petrol in bike or pocket money ....I noe hes there n took his presence for granted...

Late night political, philosophical or religious discussions and debates, watchingon TV football matches or urdu shaiyari concerts, a hot cup of tea at sum crazy hour at night, getting away from moms scolding or looking for a bail out from home chores, going back and shopping tht RED tagged dress that mom dint let u buy, yet at the same time whose anger was dreaded by everyone, never worry abt how much was tomato or rice...Man, Babas was thr!

But from the time I am away from my home, everytime I walked alone on the streets of this so called Ethiopian land of america, everytime I walked for 25 to 30 minutes to get grocery, the times I wanted to share a joke or a thought without being judged for my statements or craziness, everytime I let my silent tears fall looking with empty eyes for those consoling touch.......I missed his presence. I Miss YOU my frnd.....I really do!

But, the worst mistake or blunder I did in my life n wud ever regret it.................is that.......I never told him........

I never told him.........BABA I am thankful to you for every big n small thing you have done for me........I am sorry if ever I have hurt you ,coz U R one of the most precious gifts ALLAH has given me..........I jus kept postponing it to the time I wud meet him again in person....I FORGOT ..lifez short n unpredictable..........now even if I cry to my loudest...my voice wont reach him.......He gone for ever! I really dont now whr to fall back now.. babs I love you ..miss you deeply and madly. If i wud ever get a miraculous wish done " I wud like ot meet him"

but please, make sure nxt time u wanna say sumthng to sumone......jus SAY IT........u never noe wht might be cuming round ur way......

till nxt time...
adieu

Abstract thoughts !

Once I was reading a religious article and there came a point when the writer describes Man as Ashraful makhlukhaat (the superior of the creation..literal translation!) and gave an argument that A FREE WILL and the ABILITY to REASON (Knowledge) are the most important virtues in human that makes him human. Everytime you try to argue, understand or reason out a situation is limited by the knowledge you have. I am seriously baffled by the genecist who argue that the prime purpose of human existence is the passing of genes like any other creation on this earth (even that is arguable). There was a point when humans learnt to make fire, homes, spades along with making babies. Had our mission be passage of genes we would have also been in the wilds doing same thing as animals on the face of earth. We need not create bridges, laptops, machinery,etc.

I have a special knack of deviating form the subject; coming back to topic: Isnt it amazing and astonishing at the same time that a group of same human can rule scores of other humans, cripple their minds or enlighten them, make them give or take lives? Any time wonder what makes them do that? Well keeping apart the leadership qualities, charming personalities, least I think it is the knowledge and rationalisability of the person, or the knowledge of the power of the person by the followers that make them do that. It is the knowledge that creates a clear rift between the wanted and the trashed. It is natural to reason. Human cannot take the anticipation of not knowing. We would try to build up any damn postulation or theory or hypothesis as long as it satiates our need for reasoning an argument. For instance, at the Galelio era ( i hope i aint wrong on this fact..if yes do correct!) there was a geocentric theroy of universe and it was followed as such for several years till heliocentric theory came to light. But during that era people did belief him because he came up with the best of answers at that time.

There might come a time in the future when everything we take for fact, whether gravity or genes may be challenged and replace with a newer fact but for now, we just take the answers we are getting because they have the best of reasons based on the amount of knowledge we have as yet. Well, lemme wind this up with one of my favourite quotes from Donald Rumsfield

" There are things we know we know, there are things we know we DONT know; but there are things we DONT KNOW we DONT KNOW" and the human nature is moving towards the quest of that unknown unknown.

Everynite I travel an unknown path to abyss
Looking for sumthng; not sure myself whts amiss

Each day seems to downsize me
Something pressing me hard to flee
Trembling in pain i look for solace
search ending at reflection of my own face

Eyes filled with tears
Ringing sounds in my ears
Chaos filling the mind
Shivering of voice interwined

My lips part an unvoiced scream calling 'THE MERCY'

An abrupt peace ruptures my thoughts
Granting serenity to emotional distraught
Every nerve is given pain it can take
Almighty, tests not beyond ones partake

Oh lord, Give me patience
To endure with tolerance
Your's lil tests on way
And, help me find a leeway

I have everythng i need to cumover my grieve
Most of all an undeterred believe

That even though;

Everynite I travel an unknown path to abyss
Looking for sumthng; not sure myself whts amiss

I Still have a clear mind
Sumthng unknown I have to find
It might take time to unravel
THE HIGHEST's with me on my travel.

Perfect....

Well, what a word to ponder...

What is 'perfect'?

Searching the word in google, bang came around 580,000,000 pages. But still I m paralyzed to understand its definition. If you are going to do some historical check, the words origin gives you a different picture from what it is used for.

Now, dont b misguided that I m trying to open english literature classes here...the word seems so profound yet lilttle existent around me..I was sub conscuiosly pulled to look out for its origin.

Coming back to the topic

I havnt ever come across a niether situation whr the fairy tales seems to b playing the grnd as in disney movies nor hollywood climaxes...so I havnt still seen the perfect end anytime...

whrevr I put my eyes on....no one seems to be satisfied arnd me, including me...nuthng more....everyone needs more thn the present more....all I c is frustration, denial, fear, anguish, helplessness...whtevr I hav heard or seen...seems to hav a tinge of below expectation dissatisfaction...

Dont mistake this as happiness, you can still b happy in a non perfect situation...

Looking up for tht perfect world...."Picture abhi baakhi hai mere dost"

to b continued...